You want to use Windows as the operating system on your computer? feel free, but please don’t come to me when you get infected with viruses. There is nothing wrong with Windows and I use it for my work but I have come to the conclusion that there is absolutely no way you can prevent getting viruses on your system. I have seen with my own eyes a virus rip through anti virus software and install itself just because a client forgot my dire and pompous warnings about never clicking on attachments in e-mails.

The worse thing is that people have an outdated idea of what viruses do; “if my computer is still working I can’t be infected”, er, no. The whole purpose of modern viruses is not to draw attention to themselves whilst they allow their controllers to sell the use of your computer for, most commonly, sending out spam and attacks on web sites (if tens of thousands of computers all look at the same web site at the same time it can make the site inaccessible)., oh, and while they’re doing that they will be logging every keystroke you make on the keyboard to e-mail to keen Russian gangsters for further analysis and credit card detail extraction!

If you are extremely competent technically and are willing to treat your computer as if it was your enemy you can substantially reduce the risk, if not you don’t have a hope in hell.

Me? the only operating system I’ll put on and get involved with for friends is Linux (The Ubuntu version) and that’s only safe for the moment as there are so few Linux computers out there they don’t bother writing viruses for them.

The other option is gat an Apple MAC, a bit too pricey for my taste but a temporary solution at least.

I do a little bit of basic IT as part of earning a living, sometimes it can be rewarding (in the emotional sense), especially when you can walk away leaving something that will work without problem for ages allowing people just to get on with their business. Some times it can be the most depressing experience.

One of the problems is that, at the level I’m at, you’re often working in the dark being asked about applications that you have no experience of but knowing you’re advice will be used to pin any responsibility for problems on your tail.

The reality is that, for small businesses, computers and their software are just too complex, being run as they are by people who have learnt to do what they need to do by rote and on a “wing and a prayer”, without the prayer.

The brutal truth is that owning and using computers means that the total responsibility for what happens is down to you, this cannot be off-shored by the occasional bit of support, it doesn’t matter if you don’t understand “this shit”, that’s your choice and problem.

Computers are still at the stage of an experimental money pit that require a coterie of magicians surrounding them to do anything useful. The sad fact is that most of us magicians are more Tommy Cooper than Merlin.

A whole business balancing on this mess.

Got the “old” computer back together, it turned on fine, then on the second turn on it refused; “computer says no” so I think it is knackered (sorry about he technical jargon there).

I am perpetually angry. I suspect there’s a good chance I’ll end up the muttering tramp wandering high streets. And recently things got worse. Not only the broken motorcycle but the completely bust work computer. This time I had no-one else to blame; I built it myself, a water cooled completely silent wonder. Work computer, television, music centre all in one – what could possible go wrong?

A few weeks ago it began to not to want to start, needing sometimes to be left for hours before it would turn on again and one day it didn’t come on at all, okay, I’m a technical guru, easy to sort. Bits came out, nothing, it must be the power supply. One new power supply later, nothing. So the answer is, as I must be able to work reliably, buy a new Dell. And get a new motherboard for the broken one so I can have it as a backup. The new Dell arrives & after a day setting it up and installing all the programs I’m back in business. The new motherboard turns up. I leave it for a few days till my computer DIY enthusiasm returns.

This evening I start, first thing is remove the old motherboard. As I’m doing this a screw drops out that shouldn’t be there, in fact it looks as if it’s been laying on the motherboard, no, surely not. Attach a power supply just to quickly test it – it come on fine. Attach the old bits to it and put it back in the case – it come on fine. Nearly £900 down the drain, grr… now where’s that high street.

Your hero in a rare calm moment. Photographer: Mike Carroll